Papa had a heart issue


Luca: 14 months old

This just happened last Saturday. He was complaining he has been having a headache over a month now. So his PCP gave him Flonase to take care of the headache. He had the first take on last Saturday followed by 2 cups of coffee. This combination gave him a similar to a stroke. His heart rate went up to 200 for a moment and went down to 140-160. Once he sat down and rest, his heart rate became normal but as soon as he got up and started to walk just to go to a bathroom, his heart rate went back to 180 or so. We went to ER three times over the weekend and finally he was accepted to admit at the Keiser on Sunset Blvd. I thought he would be better to be admitted and be monitored. We were scared, Luca. 

Your Papa takes care of you so well and I don’t know what to do without him. He is a strict person but very warm, thoughtful and fun person as well. He might be tough on you but he won’t forget to make you laugh after you cry. 

After this what happened to your Papa, I thought you and I should NOT take your Papa for granted. We should always show our love to him (or anyone you care!) and our appreciation. You never know when God needs him (or any of us) and bring him back to heaven. I hope it’s not anytime soon. 

Much love,
Your mama

Breastfeeding is coming to the end! 😭


Luca: 14 months old

It has been over 14 months that I have been breastfeeding you. Day and night. Starting from every 2 hours since you were born which means even though it was 2 or 3 in the morning when you cried, I breastfed you. I pumped at work twice so then your Papa could feed you during my work hours. And now it dropped down to every 8-9 hours to feed. I still pump at work once at lunch time. Pumping is not easy thing to do especially when my work is busy. But at the same time, I can take a rest in the private Nursing room that my company provides us. I can hide for 30 min and spend a time for reading, watching videos or chit chatting with other moms in the room. It’s relaxing time for mama. 

I always thought breastfeeding was such a special activity to create a bond between mom and her child. And I’m super happy that I was able (still am!) to do for this long. Most of moms either couldn’t do or just quit because it’s not easy thing to do but I made this far! I just love looking at your face when you drink from me with your serious face. And I love the reaction when I say “it’s oppai (breastfeed in Japanese. Literally it means breast though) time!!” You express your joy and give me a big smile with the “milk” sign language (and jump on me)! You give ME a joy by looking at your smile!! Sometimes you bite, chew and pull me with your teeth (and it really hurts!!) and I wish you are able to learn not to do it but I guess you are having fun from my reaction (this is not right!). So when I see that, I stop feeding you. I hope you will learn one day very soon. 

But slowly but surely, my amount of milk is getting low at pumping time. I’m giving a try on the herbal tea which can produce more milk for this week but in terms of pumping, it may be a time to stop. I have a bittersweet feeling about this. I’m happy to quit so then I have more time for myself at lunch time but I’m super sad to quit because this is one of the signs that the breastfeeding session will be over soon. I know I can create more bonding time with you in different ways but I feel so melancholy. But I have to accept the fact that you are growing!! You are not a baby anymore. Time always goes really fast and takes away of fun stuff sometimes like this. But I guess we all need to grow and so are you, Luca! 

I’m very happy that you haven’t gotten any sickness so far. I believe this is because of my breastfeeding. Cheers to that!! 👍🏻😄😄😄👍🏻


Much love,
Your Mama