Your mama’s Seishun Part 2


On last Thursday 21st of April, Prince passed away at age 57. Probably you would say “who is Prince?”. Prince is one of the legends in Music industry (he had won 7 Grammys). His type if music is R&B, He had created a lot of hit songs from 80s and I used to love his songs when I was young like “Let’s Go Crazy”, “Cream”, “Raspberry Beret” , “Delirious” etc. My mom used to say “Turn the music off! It’s not appropriate for you!” I don’t know if I thought he was “sexy” man at my age but I sure loved his up beat music.
We just lost David Bowie a couple months ago too. He was another music legend but in different type of music. I have more memories with Prince than David Bowie. Anyway when I hear those music artists who were popular in my teenage era, I feel so melancholy. My mind goes through with so many memories. Hope, love, dream… A lot of things were in my mind but I was the type of kid that wasn’t able to express myself the way I wanted to. I didn’t know how. I think I was raised in very reserved way which is typical in Japanese culture.And I knew I didn’t feel myself in it.  And somehow I always admired and was inspired by foreign culture and I knew I wanted to spend my life elsewhere, not in Japan. And I always admired United Kingdom and wanted to live there. I loved the accent, loved the royal family, loved the sophisticated culture (the idea of UK is all coming from the movies I watched:  A Room with A View, Maurice, Another Country… It’s all like in 1920s, not 1980s. Lol). I loved (and still love) British music more than American music. I thought this was the country I was going to live in. 

At age 16, some of my friends started to join a study abroad program. Once they told me about it, I thought “that is it. That is the chance I have to take”. It was very difficult to convince my parents and make them understand how important this would be for my life. They didn’t take it seriously and told me to pass the exam first. If I would pass, then they would consider if I should go or not. So I took two different programs’ exams. Writing essays, and interviews. The results were… passed on both of them! My parents were so shocked to know that how serious I was and passed the tests. So my dad agreed and let me go to … United States. I am not sure why I chose United States instead of UK when I loved the country so much and I am pretty sure I had an option to choose. I still look back and think what happened to that decision. Lol I think overall the cost was so much cheaper in US comparing to UK. My parents couldn’t afford to send me to Europe. I think that was why.

So here I am. After 20+ years, I am still in US.

The story of what I have been through in the 20+ years will be another story for another time. 😊 

By living in such an open, expressive country, I think people taught me how to express myself more and that changed me so much in many positive ways. I still dream about wanting to live in Europe occasionally but at this age, it would be difficult to change the environment. I met friends that I can call them best friends, I have a secured job, and I have a family. Am I giving up my true dream? I don’t know. Maybe. But the most important thing is if I am happy or not in the current moment. To answer to the question, yes I am. Because I have you in my life. 😊❤️

Love you very much,
Your mama 

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